New Year's Impossible Resolutions

I never made any resolutions, so thought why not this year. It’s another new year and good time for making new resolutions. Keeping up with the pace of this year old traditions, I thought of listing down top five resolutions this year. Only difference, they will be impossible to achieve.

I know many of you may think even if I make a simple resolution like waking up early in the morning every day whole year and probability of failing is very high and can also be listed under impossible resolutions but I believe in thinking something more impossible.

In positive note, many of you think there is nothing is impossible, I believe the same “Nothing Is Impossible ….Theoretically” hence are my resolutions below. To all those who believe this as ridiculous idea, let me tell you, if you raise your aim by throwing stones toward Moon there are very good chances you will hit your neighbor’s bare head. So let me know what will be your impossible resolutions for this year. Some foods for thoughts are mentioned below.

1.       To Be an Astronaut – Why to throw stone to moon when you can actually land up in moon. You can extend your resolution to become an astronaut and find yourself landed in one of the lesser travelled stars too. If you think this is not possible in one year time frame then didn’t I tell you earlier “everything is possible”? As this falls under impossible resolutions to achieve so please note this resolution will not consider accomplished if you are an Astronaut by profession. Also if you are in any other profession but do daily conference with your team members or client in conference rooms named “Astronaut”, “Moon”, “Star” or “Sun” etc.

 

2.       Exercise Daily – I can guarantee this resolution is the most popular resolution the day new year starts. It’s the reason due to which Fitness Center memberships are highest in the month of January than in any month of the year. There will be various variety of this resolution at your end like exercise weekly or exercise at least 3 days a week etc. Many of you may able to achieve those resolutions or struggle hard to achieve that too. Which so ever category you fall the impossible resolution will be to exercise at least 1 hour daily i.e. 365 Days of the year, no matter what. You can do exercise of any kind and also more than the allocated time every day but the extra time will not get credited to any other day. To ease this up, if in any given day this year you encountered Tsunami and did swimming to survive yourself (Swimming is an exercise) or got caught in landslide and climbing back to the land (Mountain Climbing is an exercise) will also fall under that particular day exercise. If you did this kind of surviving activity more than an hour on that particular day, you still have to invest an hour in exercise very next day.

3.       To Laugh Every Day – Impossible, if you add 1 hour every day to it. The first resolution was imaginary, second one was practical and this one is emotional.  I think this is the easiest resolution to achieve in any year but most tough to accomplish. If you are part of laughter member club and you think this is too easy for you to achieve, then you can introduce complexity to this resolution by laughing every day at particular time outside your laughter member club time. E.g. Laugh every day at 1.00 PM. Please note this resolution may have its own drawbacks either choose a legitimate time or apply intelligently. Like if you heard that your friend fell from bed and broke his leg can tickle your funny bones but it doesn’t looks well if you visit him after his accident at 1.00 PM and started laughing in front of him, to achieve this resolution. Worst if you are attending a funeral and your time to laughter starts now.

4.       Travel to new places – Yes, this is also a popular resolution for most of the peoples but how about every day. Yes, each day you will travel to new place which you have never visited before. Which means commuting to office, to your mom’s place or to your girlfriend(s) place will not count unless they had changed their location in 2015. If you are giving interviews and you have to visit different companies at different unique locations everyday then congratulations, this is actually covers the intricacies of this resolution. Although, I will feel pity on you if you have to continue your job search for 365 days, just to achieve this resolution.  

5.       Daily Dosage of Love Making– Yes this is also kind of impossible now a days. If not for you then first thing first, Hats off to you. You definitely need to share recipe of success to many peoples who love to be like you. So especially for people like you and to make this one impossible, you need to do it in different unique position every day. Warning: Kamasutra has only 65 positions and you need to invent 300 new ones to cover 365 Days of the year, so kind of theoretically impossible. To those who find doing it every day itself is challenging will suggest to do it with a reliable partner(s) only, no animals should be harmed in this resolution. Yes, you can do it with clothes on, lights on or can even use Red or Green light in place of boring white or yellow home or street lights. If you are trying to achieve this resolution with Green or Red lights on then don’t blame me for this suggestion, in case you find a hard on, the moment you approach a traffic signal. I know, every country use green and red lights for traffic signal so no escape based on location.

Do let me know if you actually tried any of them, as you can find none of them are impossible to start it’s just the continuity and ending, you know.

©Tapas Majumdar