Love Industry - The Knowledge Transfer

This is the Part-5 of the story. Please read Part -1, Part -2, Part -3  and  Part -4 first.

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It was the day for Knowledge Transfer session, Dev and Padamesh are staring at each other with unknown expectations. This is the first time in the history of love that someone’s’ moving out boyfriend will give knowledge transfer to the moving in boyfriend.  Sweetie explicitly mentioned Padamesh beforehand, that it should only be about how to handle Sweeties household stuff and nothing else. Padamesh reluctantly agreed to this when he was reminded about this mess been created by his so-called brilliant idea. Although this time he has no plan and no idea.

“Let’s start with good times you had with her,” Dev said, “maybe three things you liked most about her, and we can go from there onwards.”

Dev broke the ice and Padamesh had no clue what worked so far, Sweetie has so many tantrums and mood swings that he lost count of ideas he implemented during those times to calm her.

“Irrespective of many good times the best part was always sex,” Padamesh said with a grin. 

Then he realized it was not the correct answer for Dev’s question. “Men will be men you know, there were so many things I loved about her.” He said with a nervous giggle. “Let’s do one thing we document everything about her,” this time Padamesh said with a confident voice.

“Document!! What?” Dev asked.

“I know, it will be odd but documentation is always the best practice for all kind of KTs,” Padamesh responded, “You can add your own experience when you will give same KT to someone else in future.”

Dev again started staring Padamesh with unknown expectations. Now it’s Padamesh turn to break the silence.

“We will create one excel file with multiple sheets in it. First sheet can define household chores I perform at her house. One sheet will have details about all reasons for her tantrums and mood swings and applied remedies. Another sheet will have details about she loves or hate. It could be food, the color of clothes or shoes. We can even have one sheet with all her hobbies, ambitions, egos and good qualities she had. If you insist, the last sheet can be about all the parts she loves to get touched on the bed and otherwise, maybe we can add her likable positions too. Once all details will get completed, then we will add very first sheet as index and disclaimer of this document where I can add everything is based on my experience and true to my knowledge only. The same sheet will also have version information along with your review and sign-off for this love KT to close this document fully. What say?”

“Let’s do it and complete this love KT,” Dev said after a long pause “Let’s start creating the last sheet first or in reverse order and end this at sign-off and disclaimer sheet.”

They both agreed to this process and now eager to complete this historic love KT session. The KT session which was supposed to be short and sweet gone to many brainstorming sessions, and finally, the KT document is ready. Dev only needs to update this document with latest changes whenever any need arises in the future. This document contains more details about Sweetie, that any astrologer might have ever predicted about her or she might have even aware of herself.

***

“You looked tensed?” Padamesh asked Dev when he was reviewing the finalized document.

“I know…I now know everything about her, along with her expectations” Dev said.

“Curiosity is the mother of love and I just killed her.”

“I can only hope for her reincarnation and everything that written here get reset.”

“Don’t worry you will survive.”

“Love can never be industrialized, in an industry survival is the key and if you are just surviving in love then you are not in love”

Padamesh realized Dev said true words about his wrong concept.

“Why you ever thought of this weird idea?” Dev asked.

“The idea was generated from the fear of judgemental society who think you as looser when someone dumps you” Padamesh replied.

“I am all ears.”

“When my parents tried to get divorced for the first time. The judge asked them to stay back together for 6 months and if things don’t work out in this period they will get divorced. My mom conceived me during that period, and they didn’t get divorced at that time. The same situation raised when I was 5 years old and my brother born soon after that 6-month period. This time my father did a vasectomy and their marriage didn’t survive when the same situation came up for the third time when I was 10 years old.”

“Ohh…were you guys planning for a baby in these three months?”

“No, absolutely not. I believe procrastination is good for some cases, it gives you second chance and I thought of achieving that second chance. I want to buy some time to change her mind.”

“It didn’t change.”

“It did give me time to find someone and it’s always better to leave with a job in hand than getting fired.”

“That’s quite an honest reply but is that’s the only reason?”

“Actually no. If you do something daily for 30 days, that becomes your habit. I am not sure if it's true for love but true for cleaning clothes and utensils. I think I love doing that.”

This response from Padamesh bought that odd silence again for quite some time and Padamesh said: “Do not forget to give the Sign-Off to the KT document soon based on our original process.”

Go to the Last Part (The Other Day)

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This is the Part-5 of the story. Please read Part -1, Part -2, Part -3  and  Part -4 first.

©Tapas Majumdar, Not for reproduction without Author's permission.

Love Industry - The Resignation

This is the Part-4 of the story. Please read Part -1, Part -2  and Part -3 first.

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Finally, love hunt of Padamesh leads a result and he happily went to Sweetie to talk about the release dates.

“I want to be relieved from all your services,” Padamesh said with a smile, “I found the one.”

“Wow!! Congrats…” Sweetie said, “Who is she?”

Padamesh realized revealing Aadita’s details may cause future problems so he said “Actually I have more than one offers in hand. I have yet to decide.”

“Hmmm, I got it. You don’t want to reveal her identity in front of me.” Sweetie said it with a fake smile.

“Sweetie, One Request. Can I get an early break-up?”

“What does that mean?”

“We were supposed to have our final break up after remaining 2 months, can we do that early?”

“No. We agreed on total three months, so nothing before that.”

“Why? You only want to have a breakup.”

“Yes. It’s you who want it in corporate style. Early releases have its own consequences you know that.”

“What consequences?”

“Many corporates charge penalties for early releases, how it will work for love I need to figure that out.”

“Ok, let me figure that out or what about I find you my replacement as compensation.”

“No need, I will find that out. You just need to give him KT.”

“KT…What?”

“Knowledge Transfer.”

“What on earth I can transfer knowledge to your future boyfriend?”

“There are so many things like the way I like my clothes and utensil cleaned. We will discuss all those details later.”

“Sweetie, why are you doing this to me?”

“I have just started. Finally, no love or love making to your new girlfriend till your notice period complete.”

“Why? Do you know it took a lot of efforts from my side to find her? No one accepts a boyfriend with three-month notice because everyone expects an immediate joiner.”

“When you receive an offer letter from another organization, you first resign from the previous one and once released then only you avail all the services from the new organization like salary etc. In your case, you received the offer, so you will neither going to give or get any services to/from your new girlfriend till you complete your notice period.”

“In this case, what will be my relationship status? In or out.”

“In case you are worried about social media’s you can put your relationship status as ‘Serving notice period’.”

Padamesh realized that the idea to avoid social humiliation became a boomerang for him. Sweetie also realized that soon she needs to sort out her priorities. She knows what so ever she said today was all her insecurities and jealousy to find Padamesh moving out. She wants to dump Padamesh but now technically he is doing that, a wrong decision to agree on his idea.

***

One fine day, after last incident they met again on their usual route to the office. “Hello Padamesh, Meet Dev.” Sweetie said sweetly, “My new boyfriend.”

“Congrats Sweetie,” Padamesh said, “Hello Dev, nice meeting you.”

“Who is he?” curious Dev asked.

“He is my old boyfriend who is serving notice period,” Sweetie replied.

“Notice period?” Dev asked again.

“Don’t worry I will explain you everything,” Sweetie replied, and turned towards Padamesh and said “He will be your replacement going forward. As discussed last time, just ensure to provide him all the necessary KTs.”

“Do let me know your availability we will have Knowledge transfer session soon,” Padamesh said with a nervous smile.

Dev showed blank face, his body language clearly showcased the discomfort to all these jargons and happenings right now.

“Can I get her for a minute please?” Padamesh asked Dev and even before Dev can blink he grab Sweetie by arms and drag her to the corner and asked “What is this? You mentioned no joining before notice period, then why you have a boyfriend before our final breakup?”

Sweetie removed her arm from his grip and said “You again forgot that you are leaving and I am recruiting. The notice period applies for you. I can get anyone if he is willing to join immediately. Think about this scenario in a corporate way, the way you love to think. You are leaving and he is joining. We can love each other in any way we want.”

“Everything in your favor, nothing for me?” He said with shrugged shoulder and open palms.

“That’s corporate policy,” Sweetie said with a smile, “everything for corporate, minimum for the employee. Just ensure you complete quick KT with him.”

She went back to Dev, holds his arm and walked away while Padamesh still standing and can’t believe what just happened.

Go to the Next Part (The Knowledge Transfer)

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This is the Part-4 of the story. Please read Part -1, Part -2  and Part -3 first.

©Tapas Majumdar, Not for reproduction without Author's permission.

Love Industry - The Offer Letter

This is the Part-3 of the story. Please read Part -1  and Part -2 first.

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“Can you check the guys’ expression sitting at your 10’O Clock?” Aadita, his girl on the blind date said, “I am just here to make him jealous. I really love him to the bottom of my heart so you just need to have lunch with me, have a fake date and then we will have our own ways. My Sonu, he is so cute, right?”

“Why me?” Padamesh said with a realization that his question is for God too. “I mean, there are so many of them at a dating site. I know in IT organization some of them do fake recruitment and job interviews to showcase they are still in the market. Are you doing the same?”

“We had a fight recently and he said that it's him who bears all of her tantrums no one else will even date with me,” Aadita said instantly, “That’s why I closed my eyes and randomly picked the one and you became the chosen one.”

Padamesh knows that his luck for the lottery is always bad but his recent adventure of being picked as lottery proven to be quite good. He is now with full of frustration still all smile at his face. He started casual conversations and in the meantime, do check her boyfriend’s expressions as per her instruction.

“Food in this restaurant is too bad, I can cook better than that” Padamesh said it while having his food, “Don’t give me that look, I really can cook better than this.”

“That’s my boyfriend’s favorite restaurant and we thought the food is really great.”

“I don’t think so. You can either call me great cook or this one as disgusting food, your choice.”

“I fully agree, Sonu only like to eat chicken legs and don’t have a developed taste bud …” Aadita nodded with acceptance, “and I have to accompany him no matter how bad the food is.”

Padamesh glanced towards her boyfriend finding him too engrossed in eating a chicken leg. Being curious how good it could be, he picked up one lying on his own plate. He thought to advertise himself further, in case she has any friend whom she can recommend.

“I love cooking, cleaning dishes and washing clothes.” He said it in proud voice, “I actually spend quite some time to clean my house and everything around.”

“Wow! with a quality like this you are sitting on Goldmine,” Aadita said with a surprise and Padamesh looked towards his crotch on the chair then realized Goldmine was for the literary purpose only. “Your girlfriend might be so lucky or are you single?” Aadita asked.

“I am single… Technically.”

“What does technically means?”

“We recently broke up and thought to follow breakup process based on IT industry. I am serving notice period and almost two months left, after that, I will be fully single unless in industry terminology received a new offer letter.”

“That’s great concept. Looks like you are creative too. I wish things would have been different between us today. You are a very nice guy and someone will soon find you.”

“These words are equally beautiful as you.”

“Don’t remember Sonu is watching us,” she said with a smile and stood up “I am coming back from the washroom.”

He checked her out and thought she is equally beautiful from the back and the very next moment he realized that none of his dates who went to washroom ever came back. She also had the company of her boyfriend who will rip him apart like the way he is ripping chicken legs. He thought this is the time he had to run away so started quickly finishing his chicken legs.

“I want to say you something,” Aadita said.

Padamesh didn’t realize when she came back standing in front of him. “You came back?” Padamesh said with a surprise “Yes, go ahead.”

“I love you,” Aadita said.

“What?” He can’t believe what he just heard and is mouth stayed wide opened.

Aadita bends towards him and gave a tight kiss to the gaping mouth. That’s a surprise attack to him and the chicken legs are still on his hand and her tongue is totally inside his mouth and vigorously searching for something. He opened one eye and looked towards Sonu, he stood up from his seat with all surprised and still have that half-eaten chicken leg in Sonu’s mouth and the remaining portion in his hand. Padamesh, while still being smooched showcased the chicken leg towards him with a gesture of ‘Cheers’ and focused back to the kiss by closing his eyes again. He realized if Aadita doesn't stop her tongue traversing inside his mouth he may get choked soon and on second thought “Is she searching for his tonsils?” really scared him up. When she finally stopped, that eased both the boys on that restaurant. While Sonu still can’t believe in his eyes, Padamesh looks confused not only because of her action but also which one tastes better, Aadita’s lips or chicken leg along with so many tastes of food in his mouth.

“I am the damsel in distress,” Aadita went back to her chair and said, “you are my prince charming.”

“Where the hell this is coming from,” Padamesh said, confused and agitated. “Is this dialogue from Disney movie, ‘Finding Nemo’? That’s why you are finding something inside my mouth?”

“No, not from that movie. The skill set you possess, I can’t let you go. What I have given you just now at your mouth, is the offer letter.”

“Now I get it, you are actually signing the offer letter inside my mouth with your tongue. You have pretty long signature”

“You also have a good sense of humor.” She said with a shy “I will ensure you that I will have a breakup with Sonu and give him two months’ notice period, to be with you.”

Padamesh looks all delighted to hear these words and took the chicken leg in his hand and said, “I accept your offer, Cheers” and she also reciprocated with another chicken leg lying on her plate.

Go to the Next Part (The Resignation)

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This is the Part-3 of the story. Please read Part -1  and Part -2 first.

©Tapas Majumdar, Not for reproduction without Author's permission.

Love Industry - The Love Hunt

This is the Part-2 of the story. Please read Part -1 first.

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Padamesh was confident that he will able to change the mind of Sweetie soon but her behavior reveals the intention to break up after 3 months. Padamesh with low hope to salvage this relationship, registered himself to all dating sites to find a perfect match. He is now eager to find a new girlfriend within the notice period. He was wondering 5 years of Sweetie’s company will not give him any gratuity, unlike the IT company he left last time.

“Please, tell me about yourself?” was his first dating interview question after 5 years on a blind date he got almost immediately after registration. His nervousness was quite visible even when he spoke about himself. The moment next questions started coming from across the table he found his mind gone totally blank and then he fumbled, make weird faces drank lots of water and soon said: “I am coming back from washroom”. It was the last nail in the coffin of his first blind date when he explained that NASA found new solar system named Trappist-1 with few Earth-like planets and has a probability of life in it when the question was, “tell me about any current affairs you had.” This time his date said, “I am coming back from washroom” and ran away from that restaurant to never return.

****

One evening while having snacks with their friends, Sweetie announced that she is breaking up with Padamesh. Simran looks towards Padamesh and said, “Does Padamesh aware about this?”

“Yes! off course” Sweetie replied.

“Are we having a breakup party now?” Simran said, “you both are still sitting together having snacks like nothing happened, hence asking.”

Sweetie said in excitement “No, he came up with a brilliant idea of three-month notice. Here we will continue what so ever we are doing for another three months and then fully break up. In these three months, we are free to find each other’s replacement,” Sweetie replied.

“Seriously, it’s a brilliant idea.” Simran said with excitement and Meera, Raj, and Rahul nodded with agreement, “this will be the norm of breakups soon. I will definitely follow this process for my breakup”

“Simran, You don’t have a boyfriend yet,” Padamesh said which subdued Simran’s excitement.

“It’s Ok, this is a new concept,” Sweetie said, “by the time her breakup will align she will be aware of good and bad part of this concept.” Sweetie tried her best to cover-up.

“Do both of you started finding the replacements?” Simran asked to showcase that she didn’t mind about it.

“You know my charm, the day I want to have one will get one.” Sweetie said with a swag, “He is trying, but can’t trap anyone like me yet,” and laughed with others.

There is the similarity between love and break-up. When you fall in love you least aware of the surroundings and you just think only about the love and when you encounter break up, happenings at surrounding hardly matters. Same was the situation for Padamesh, with all noise around he was busy thinking about his future. He already received few rejections. The first one gave him the confidence to go for few more dates and with each date comes new challenges and he left rejected. He knows if the pattern continues, he will be the most experienced dater of this city, if not for the country. Whenever he moves ahead in dating rounds and disclosure of notice period comes into picture then no one agrees to wait for three months to start a new relationship.

Padamesh was dejected so far with his love hunt which was not running smooth as his job hunt, he did last time. He even thought to tell lie about this situation while on new dates and maintain another relationship in parallel. After last day of this notice period, he will dedicate fully to his new love. Then he realized about his busy schedule with Sweetie which will not allow him to maintain two relationships in parallel.

His day starts early with heavy breakfast and light exercise for himself followed by … washing dishes, cleaning clothes and cleaning house of Sweetie. After this heavy exercise for Sweetie, he needs to prepare light breakfast for her and heads up to the office. He needs to finish his work early and on time because Sweetie may come up with something of her own work which he needs to resolve in the night. Those works can be critical or non-critical based on how good or bad her day was going on. He also had to cook for her in the night since she prefers fresh food. The night, Sweetie don’t have headaches during sleep time are his lucky days. Padamesh also has a place to stay which he is paying rent regularly but hardly go due to his outrageous busy schedule.

Overall, he loves Sweetie to the core to his heart and this break-up made him realized that market is really tuff to become a boyfriend of someone. Nowadays, good looks and a nice sense of humor do not work. You need specialized skills to woo the would-be girlfriend. Padamesh was quite unsure about projecting these skills that he gathered during the tenure with Sweetie. He told himself that he will now reveal all these hidden skills in his next date. All these rejections had made him desperate and for him, it’s now or never.

He logged into that dating site and sent match request to everyone with the pics of shoulder length hair, the fetish he always had. One request got accepted and via chat, he found her interesting as she started flirting with him instantly. It’s positive sign and they decided to meet the very next day. He can’t wait for the next day and already started dreaming about her and he also loved her name.

****

Next day he went to the restaurant and found her at the corner table drinking, the breeze moving her shoulder length hair to reveal her face slightly. That’s a beautiful face, Padamesh thought and walk towards her to introduce himself “Hello I am … are you Florin?” Padamesh said so loud that everyone in the restaurant turned their head towards them. A man taller than Padamesh stood up from the chair lean towards him said with heavy voice 

“Yes, I am. Who are you?”

Padamesh stammered quite hard and long and finally able to say, “I am your date, Please tell me about yourself.”

While they both are still standing, Florin said “Wo! Wait! I expected a girl for this date.”

“I also expected the same.”

“So, are you?”

“No! I am not. I guess it’s because of your hair and face combination, I thought you are a girl. Plus, your name also does not reveal the true gender identity.”

“That’s my ponytail, you idiot. I have just used my DP with that tail untied. Don’t even you check the gender?”

“No! Looks matter to me and you been extra clean shave with long hair confused me. I will put the gender filter criteria next time. My bad but why you accepted my request?”

“I was using this site for the first time and when your request came up I thought you as a girl. I thought your name came to me as Padamesha which is clearly a girl name.”

“No, my full name is Padamesh Agarwal. In my profile, I mentioned it as Padamesh a. That might have confused you”

“Why don’t you have given a profile picture or filled up personal details”

“Actually, I was more focused on skills, I will rectify it this time.”

“It’s a day wasted. Let’s sit down and have some guy talks since we came a long way to meet each other.”

“I bet.”

He realised that he can easily document each dating sessions during his love hunt as lesson learnt. He came back to his profile did some necessary changes to get the dating ball rolling. Padamesh realized that he filled up his profile like job hunt profile not as dating profile and that could be the root cause of his low acceptance and high rejection in this love industry.

He works in IT industry but he believes there exists a love industry too. An industry which flourishes on the need of love and relationships. All these flower shops, dating sites, gift and card shops are all part of this industry. If love is the driving force for most of the things in the world, then it can drive the whole industry based on the need and trend of love. Like industry here also trends do change from time to time. Like earlier no live-in concept no it is, earlier only husbands used to wash clothes and do the dishes now boyfriends' does that. This belief had given him the idea to define his profile like the of resume IT industry which he realized may differ.

The changes bought the fruit he deserved and received the request for a blind date again next day. This time he verified the request came from a girl.

Go to the Next Part (The Offer Letter)

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This is the Part-2 of the story. Please read Part -1 first.

©Tapas Majumdar, Not for reproduction without Author's permission.

Love Industry - The Notice Period

Fiddling around his pant pockets a sign of his hiding nervousness. Padamesh ensured both the boxes are intact in his pocket. He wanted to pop “will you marry me?” question tonight to Sweetie. They were in love since past many years. He bought the golden ring for this occasion. Padamesh was confident about the positive answer tonight. He took the box out and open it, Sweetie started jumping out of ecstasy after seeing that ring. She jumped with joy few times and rush into Padamesh arms lick his ears with her tongue and said: “Paddu, we need to break up.”

The voice of Sweetie bought back Padamesh to present. He found Sweetie staring him with eyes wide open across the table at the restaurant they were having dinner. He gave her a nervous smile and started back to focus on his food.

“Did you ever heard what I have said, just now?” Sweetie asked, “and why were you smiling ear to ear with your eyes closed?”

“No, Nothing. I am imagining some forthcoming happy moments,” Padamesh replied, “I read somewhere when you focus on the end results it eventually happens.”

“To hell with your end results.” Sweetie said in raised voice “Paddu, it’s not working anymore, we need to break up tonight.”

“Why? I thought things are going great between us,” Padamesh said with misty eyes, “I love you.”

“I know, but I don’t love you anymore,” Sweetie said, “It’s not that I love someone else, it’s just your lifestyle.”

“I always try to match up to your lifestyle,” Padamesh said.

“You don’t wash your clothes for months and even utensils at your place left unwashed for many days.”

“It’s because I kept busy in washing your clothes and utensils at your apartment.”

“So, it’s all my fault, right?”

“No Sweetie, I will change myself what so ever way you want. We will make it work.” He wants a truce.

“It’s over Padamesh,” she said with a firm voice, “Let’s finish our dinner and I am done with you.”

The restaurant started playing the couple's favorite love song, it was that planned moment when Padamesh wanted to pop that question which is already answered. They started eating silently. Padamesh used these silent moments to come back to senses. He had to come up with a plan to mitigate this breakup.

“Sweetie, please don’t break up like this, I have a better idea,” Padamesh said after some time.

“What you want Padamesh?” was Sweetie’s irritating response.

“You want to break-up that’s fine, we will do it tonight,” Padamesh said with a twinkle in his eyes 

“We will follow a process, a breakup process.”

“I am not going to buy any of your idiotic ideas which you call out of the box ideas.”

“No, this time it's innovative, we can be that famous couple to be marked down at breakup history.”

“Ok, I am all ears.”

“You being an HR what you do when you fire someone on the humanitarian ground?”

“We give him some notice period to help him find another opportunity.”

“Exactly. Since you are firing me tonight, I deserve that notice period on humanitarian ground.”

“What!! This doesn't happen in break-up else it’s not a breakup.”

“Why not? Consider this break up as either you have put the resignation to leave my services or you have relieved me of all your duties henceforward.”

“You have a point, but…”

“We will break up for sure but will follow the process based on IT Industries attrition.”

“What will be the process?”

“After tonight we will remain couple with minimum obligations and will be free to search for love or plan for next phase of life until predefined Notice period. If one of us find someone before that Notice period then also the person will still serve that notice period, if the one who initiated this breakup insists. Early releases may possible which we can decide later.”

“In layman’s point of view, post tonight we will stick together but I am free to find your replacement and you are free to find mine. Irrespective of we find our new partner or not, we will stick together till the notice period completes. So, you will still do my dishes and wash my clothes during this period, Right.?”

“Off-course yes,” Padamesh said with a delight, “I also expect all the services from your side too. You know, the employee does receive full salary and give all services during the notice periods. So, your place or mine?”

“Wait!” Sweetie interrupted, “what will be the notice period?”

“3 Months,” he said, “that’s the standard all Indian IT company follows now a day.”

“Your place is too dirty, mine will be fine,” Sweetie said. “I have lots of clothes and dishes pending to wash. No hurry! You can wash them in the morning before we head towards the office. Paddu, don’t forget to make my favorite breakfast.”

“I told you many times, don’t call me Paddu,” Padamesh said, “It sounds so airy.”

“That’s short form of your name, you know that,” Sweetie said with a giggle.

Padamesh released the sigh of relief. He was wondering all these times how to return the ring without getting caught by the judgemental eyes of shopkeepers. The biggest problem was the pack of the sheath in his other pocket, which doesn't have any return policy. If his trick would not have worked, he had almost made his mind to sell that pack at OLX, Quicker or Craiglist as the last course of action. Thanks to this notice period, his investment on safe sex is now safe.

Go to the Next Part (The Love Hunt)

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©Tapas Majumdar, Not for reproduction without Author's permission.